Raiderettes Get $1.25 Million from Oakland Raiders

The Oakland Raiders cheerleaders, dubbed the Raiderettes because somebody’s brainstorming session went horribly wrong, won a million dollar plus settlement against the Raiders for legally due backpay, underpay, no pay, and being treated like Indonesian sex slaves minus the free hose downs on Fridays. While the overall figure sounds somewhat impressive, it’s just a couple grand each for most of the cheerleaders of the past several years years. The current cheerleaders will now be getting $9 an hour for men to virtually masturbate to them during games as opposed to the previous $5 an hour. Not since Caesar Chavez won migrant strawberry farm hands a kicker from 87-cents an hour to, fuck you, we’ll just buy strawberries from Peru, has labor scored such a huge victory.

The Raiderettes claimed that an NFL franchise is a billion dollar company that can afford to pay them a decent wage for having their asses groped by beer fat dudes dressed as Road Warriors. The Raiders claimed the girls are cute and can high-kick and all, but they’ve got a thousand girls waiting in the wings who will do the same for a Chapstick lanyard and a tin of Crystal Light. It was an argument that could have gone either way. Except it’s the Raiders. Maybe next season.

Photo Credit: Oakland Raiders